My little baby doll

It's been a whirlwind of days since Calan was born. I love this little boy SO MUCH and even get excited to see him when he wakes in the early pre-dawn hours of the the morning. I call him my little baby doll. I know he won't want me to call him that when he gets older, so I get it in while I can!

Things have settled down since the first couple of weeks. I was planning to exclusively breastfeed Calan, but I never got enough milk. We switched to exclusively formula feeding Calan at 2 1/2 weeks, due to his weight loss. I will back up for a bit though - I hadn't gotten my milk in by 1 week after he was born, so I went to a lactation consultant at the hospital. She watched me feed him, weighed him before and after I fed him and made a whole laundry list of things for me to do to increase my milk production. I followed all of her suggestions, but after another week and a half, I was still only getting 1/4 to 1/2 an ounce of milk when I pumped every 3 hours. Since it was not working, I spoke to the lactation consultant again and she said that she didn't think I would get any more milk and was totally supportive of me switching him to formula only. So, we did. Since then he has flourished and as of 1 1/2 weeks ago, he was up to 8 lbs! We go back on Tuesday for his 1 month checkup, so I'll post his updated stats then.

Once we got past all of that, things have been much better. I felt so much guilt about not breastfeeding, but I really tried everything I could, so I finally had to get over it. Mother's guilt is no joke! I feel so bad for ever making my mom feel bad about anything! I now know that she already felt bad about a million things I won't even remember.

Enough rambling....here are some new pics of my little love!

Baby Calan is here!

Calan Kenneth Goodwin arrived on Tuesday in the wee hours of the morning at 3:47 am. He weighed 7 lbs 10 oz (far less than the anticipated 9 lbs the OB thought) and was 18 1/2 in long. We were in the hospital until Thursday at noon. Our first night at home was pretty rough, as Calan only wanted to sleep when being held. I was also running on about 5 hours of sleep since his birth on Tuesday, so it made for a much harder time. Luckily, my mom came to help out on Friday and stayed through the night. The second night was much better and we actually got about 4 hours of sleep, which seems like a lot now.

I am so happy to have our beautiful baby here with us and I'm also still feeling a little weird that I'm not pregnant anymore. It's no secret that I did not have any easy pregnancy, especially the last 10 weeks with being at home alone on bedrest and then just anticipating the arrival of Calan. I complained constantly about the lonliness of being at home and my uncomfortableness, but now I feel so conflicted about one day being a pregnant lady and the next not. I guess when you do something for almost 10 months and have a drastic change you are bound to feel weird. I know these feelings are temporary and to be expected with a new mother, but it's definitely a learning curve of steep proportions.

Enough of my ramblings....here are some pics of our beautiful baby boy!

38 Weeks

I am 38 weeks tomorrow and I just had my weekly OB appt. I am now dilated to 4 cm and the OB stripped my membranes, which may help me along quicker. He also noted that the baby is large, his estimate was around 9 lbs....pray for me! I really hope this baby comes soon so that I'm not trying to birth a 10 lber. I don't have an updated pic, but my belly is VERY large. I have quit gaining weight, so how is that he is still growing?!!!

Just Waiting....

I am now almost 37 weeks along and just waiting for the little guy to make his move! I went to the OB last Wednesday and found out that I was dilated to 2 cm/50% effaced. The OB is comfortable with me having the baby any day now, as he is larger than average, so I have been walking, doing squats, etc. Yesterday I felt some contractions erratically throughout the day, but nothing regular. Today has been less eventful :( I am trying to get this boy moving, but I guess he wants to come in his own time.

In other news, we are continuing to look for a home in Petaluma. We have been outbid on 2 properties and our bid was countered on a 3rd property, but we decided not to make a counter offer. It is very frustrating to be a buyer or seller (I assume) in this current real estate market, but we'll keep looking and hopefully find the right house soon.

I go to the OB again tomorrow, so we'll see if I have made any further progress!

35 Weeks

I am now at 35 weeks and officially off bed rest!!!! As soon as the OB told me that, I promptly took the stairs instead of the elevator (she is on the 8th floor)! We are definitely ready for the little guy to make his apperance. My sister, mom and friend Nina threw a baby shower for us on Sunday so now we have almost everything we need....except a bigger house! Speaking of that, we have been looking very seriously for a home in Petaluma (about 40 mins north of San Francisco) for almost a month now. We have put offers on 3 homes, but been outbid twice and countered once (they want too much for it in this market), so we are continuing to look and hoping that the house for us will come along soon! Who knew a little bitty baby required so much space? :) I have included some pics from my shower below....as you can see he is definitely growing in there!

Father's Day, Baby Shower and more

We had an eventful weekend this past Saturday and Sunday! On Saturday, a friend of Neils' mom threw me a baby shower in Santa Rosa for some of his parents friends. Peggy has a beautiful home and the shower was so much fun! It was really nice to get out of the house and be out in the sun. Meanwhile, Neils treated his dad to a round of golf for Father's Day. All in all, it was a great day! I have posted a couple of pics from the shower below so you can see how big I've gotten. I can't imagine getting any bigger - how can there be any more room????!!!!!! My ribs and lungs beg for your mercy Mr. Baby!!

On Sunday, we celebrated Father's Day by taking another baby class. This time the subject was Newborn Parenting - a 5 hour class about changing diapers, car seats, bathing, soothing the baby, etc. It was good information, but uncomfortable for me to sit in a classroom type chair for that long!

This week we will have our final baby class, interview a Pediatrician and go for my last ultrasound!! Hopefully everything will go as expected and Mr. Baby will not try to arrive early! I have a good feeling that he will stay put for at least a few more weeks.....we really need to get to 36 weeks, so that's 1 more month.

Update

We went to get another ultrasound today to check my cervical length and it HAS NOT changed!!! This is exactly what we were hoping for! I guess the bed rest is good for something. I am now at 30 weeks, so the Dr. ordered 6 more weeks of bed rest. I go back in 2 more weeks for another check and hopefully we'll have the same results. We also got to see how large the baby is and he is at approx. 3 lbs 10 oz., which is good. Big, but not too big!

We were supposed to go to Lake Tahoe this weekend with our friends Ernest and Ozzie (who are in from Houston), Justin, Ryan, Erin, Jason and Amy, but doctor's orders prevented us from going :( They will have a good time regardless, but we sure wish we could go!